me in last place

When I get into my high energy, super-charged, creative brainstorming modes it's almost as if nothing can stop me. I feel energized and excited, motivated and inspired. But I'm realizing more and more that during the times when I am most productive and prolific, I am actually exhausting myself. I'm pulled in a million directions and I carry too much all at once. I don't realize it at the time but I fatigue sometimes and now I know why.

Don't get me wrong, I'll take the super-charged version of myself over the lethargic, unmotivated me any day of the week, but the exhaustion hits me like a ton of bricks. Especially late at night when I am trying to squeeze in a blog post, for example.

I'm learning that this is what happens when I put off myself until the end of the day. I'm too tired to enjoy it. Waiting to do something for myself (like write a post here, read a book, get crafty, etc) means I'm usually far too tired to do it at all. Putting myself off really means that I am putting myself last (literally and figuratively).

I've been doing a lot of thinking about that lately. About not giving myself space to exhale, to rest, to muse, to play, to dream until it gets too late and I'm just too tired. I'm going to publish this post at the exact time I finish it so you can see what I mean.

I know I'm not alone here. If you're like me, this sounds familiar. I don't know about you, but I am getting so ready to make some changes around here. What about you? You in?

The evolution of enough

I remember very clearly those few moments right before I had these words painted directly on my chest. Every cell in my body was heightened. There was a clenching in my stomach and a tightening all around my throat. I knew it was a huge risk to state something that held such power, such certainty, such self-assuredness. What would it mean? What would people think? Was I really so sure? Regardless the questions racing through my head,  I knew that I had a chance to claim something for myself; something I desperately needed and so at that very moment—as they say—I felt the fear and did it anyway. And then in the next few hours that followed, I felt confident, sure and unshakeable. I had three little words like a shield protecting me from anything that might hurled my way at a time of such vulnerability. And I had a supportive and loving sisterhood around me. For a while I felt invincible.

That was just over two years ago. A lot can happen over two years. I’ve stretched and grown into my enoughness. I have been joined by a chorus of amazing, beautiful, diverse, courageous and strong voices. I have been questioned and pushed and yes, rattled. I have been broken down and I have been built back up. Both of my own doing and also at the hand of others. I have waxed and waned but through it all, even during my darkest nights, I come back to the three words that set me free and illuminated every part of my soul.

This place, this thing, this way of being isn’t the end of the road. The journey is long. This is a process. A practice. Or perhaps best said, an evolution. I will feel strong in the truth of my own enoughness on some days and I won’t on others. That’s OK. Because I do know that no matter what, I am who I am and I Am Enough. 

...........

It's been quite some time since anyone has shared their story at the Self-Kindness Collaborative. It makes it that much sweeter to have a beautiful story from the amazing Meredith Winn to stoke the fires of enoughness today as we open up the doors to sharing more stories and celebrating being enough.

If you would like to share your story on the I am Enough Collaborative please send me an email. It would be an honor to hear from you. If you are here from the NOW YOU Workshop, welcome. I'm so glad you've come. I look forward to hearing from all of you eager to declare that you are enough. Because, you most certainly are.

Art Saves

To write my book Elevate the Everyday, I had to go back. I had to revisit the archives of my life; of being an artist who found photography as the medium that fit and of being mother who used that medium not only as art, but as a lifeline.

Perhaps no better expression has been coined than Art Saves. Because it can. Because it will. Because it does.

The window to the past is funny. It comes in and out of view, with the curtains of time being blown gently back and forth, keeping the truth of what things really looked like faint and faded. But I don’t need to see it clearly to remember how it felt to be frighteningly out of control and overwhelmed. I still carry it with me. When it comes up (as it does from time to time) I am right back there to that place again. It’s like muscle memory of the body and soul. It’s uncomfortable and scary but I know that it will pass. It did back then, and it will again.

The beauty of looking back is tracing the path of how you made it from there to here; from then to now. For me that road is lined with photographs. Beautiful, poignant, celebratory, photographs that represent all the parts of my life that have mattered most.  Ironically enough, the stuff that felt heavy and overwhelming , I was seeing through my lens with a lightness and eloquence. Those images are like poems, recalling the past beautifully, hauntingly, authentically.  At the time, I’m not sure I knew how much my photography practice was pulling me out of a fog and shedding so much light. But I see it now. I give credit to my camera, my craft, for giving me vision. When, with the simple click of my shutter I could frame just a small snippet of all the life, activity, chaos, color, stimulus around me into one image and have that highlight something, anything that mattered to me at that moment, it gave me purpose, focus, perspective; all of which were and still are precious gifts.

Since then, a lot has changed (I have grown older as have my children for instance) and yet a lot has stayed the same. I am far from the woman I was 20 years ago but, I still can see the things that matter most, even if some days are harder than others.  I seek out and can find beauty in even the most mundane parts of my life and that helps me celebrate it all...through success and struggle. I have never been more aware that art— photography—saved me once and continues to do so every day.

Something tells me, you can relate. I would love to hear how art has saved you.

I'm honored to be a guest curator for a week of inspirational goodness over at Crescendoh, starting Monday, May7th. I would be honored if you popped over to say hello.

collective energy

It's been an inspiring week of making a difference together. The Shot@Life inspired #shot4shot project has been a huge success with shot after shot of amazing images that have helped raise awareness around this vital cause.

Personally, I have been inspired by the power (and satisfaction) of working together on this with so many great people. The further I travel down this crazy awesome super-highway (you know the one I'm talking about) the more I see my worlds all coming together in ways I could have never seen coming. From meeting and working with amazing activists at the Shot@Life summit, to collaborating with Kristen, to gathering friends both online and in real life to support the cause, to working closely with my teen-age daughter (Teens 4 Vaccines has been officially launched on Facebook), I have been delighted and inspired by how much good can come from togetherness. It's not that I haven't known it all along, but sometimes the power of it all takes my breath away. The money we've been raising is awesome and it affords more children with the vaccines they need!

Thanks to Paper Coterie, Epiphanie Bags, Shutter Sisters, and Green Mountain Coffee for their donations. Thanks to Big Picture Classesfor donating a percentage of Picture Black & White registrations to Shot@Life and thanks for Mom It Forward for their feature today. And last but not least, thanks to all of YOU. All of this support is deeply appreciated!

Today is the last day to participate in #shot4shot if you want a shot at the excellent prizes we are giving away. Don't forget to tag your coffee inspired images #shot4shot & #vaccineswork. We will be announcing the winners of all the amazing prizes this week as a thank you for joining us in raising our collective voices; vaccines work and all children everywhere deserve a shot at living a healthy life!

Please don't forget to shoot us an email if you participated in #shot4shot. I don't want you to miss out on the complimentary photo journal, courtesy of Paper Coterie. Today is the last day to submit a link via email.

I'd love to see your favorite shot from this past week. After all, among everything else, it's Best Shot Monday.

A serenade of childhood

Every child deserves a shot at learning childhood songs and every mother deserves a shot at hearing her child sing them.

Please join me and my friends in supporting Shot@Life! For some ways to get involved this week, check out the #Shot4Shot project. To donate please visit our Shot@Life crowdrise page.

Disclaimer: I should have done something about those bangs before I hit record.

Share the milestones today (bad haircuts and all) that mean the most to you.